A friend once told Carmella Santiago that with a name like hers she could become a successful traffic reporter on a local LA television station. Carmella thought about it for all of two seconds. Especially after she was told shed have to work out of a helicopter and not the back seat of a 64 Chevy Impala convertible. Comforts where your ass normally is, Carmella feels. And so she turned the job down. On the bright side of things, Carmella later met a new guy who actually owns a house. She was sad to let Ernesto and the Chevy go, but at least Carmellas now got a place to wash her ass after having sex.